1.23.2008

Torture Lesson, 01/23/08

Dear Diary,


Today I rode my brother-in-law's ancient, unforgivably red Bianchi eighteen-speed racing bike which he loaned me in anticipation of a triathlon and which I used previously in a sprint triathlon.  (I scored 270 out of 650.  I accepted masochism unconditionally -- that day.)

By the by, I acquired a swanky, oddly-comported "trainer" apparatus enabling the bike's conversion into a cumbersome, unquiet, indoor torture device.  Aside from the bent derailer's perpetual clicking noises (nice echoes in a one-bedroom apartment with hardwood floors -- no area rug -- twelve-foot ceilings, etc.) and the boredom, this reconfiguration brings me unlimited amounts of physical pain, the focus of which I notice channeling through my coccyx.  My coccyx.  I am not an idiot.  I wear marginally-fashionable, expensive, well-padded biking shorts with a brand name and a less-fashionable, brand-named, specialized biking undergarment.  That said, after six dutiful rides, I'm no less crippled.  I sit a lot.  I enjoy sitting (a lot).  John Cleese reportedly listed his hobbies once as "gluttony, sloth."  I am not John Cleese, but apparently I'm tangentially related at least insofar as our hobbies go.  This "trainer" hindrance is intolerable.  As a former, sadistic colleague of mine once slowly said through his wry smile, after hearing I needed a molar pulled, "you'll get used to it."
 
If these are my problems, things could probably be worse.

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